When Performance Reviews Feel Heavy

Have you ever walked out of a performance review…
feeling heavier than when you walked in?

This time of the year can feel emotionally loaded for many as performance reviews take place.

Performance review season can bring up a mix of emotions.

Maybe you received feedback that surprised you.
Maybe something felt unfair.
Maybe parts of the conversation were unclear.
Maybe it left you questioning your ability or the progress you’ve made this year.

And sometimes, the hardest part isn’t the feedback,
it’s the emotional wave that comes with it.

When emotions run high, here are ways to nurture your well-being:

• Pause before reacting
Give yourself time to reflect before deciding how you want to take the feedback moving forward.

• Separate your identity from your performance
Your work is something you do, not who you are.

• Seek clarity when something feels unclear
Asking questions helps you understand the context and expectations more fully.

• Reframe the experience
Don’t take it personally. Start from the belief that feedback is intended to help, even if the delivery isn’t ideal.
This mindset shapes how you interpret the message and how you choose to respond.

Examples of reframing:

“Be more proactive” → a chance to increase your visibility so your contributions are recognised more consistently, which builds trust and opens doors to opportunities and growth.

“Improve your communication” → an opportunity to express your ideas more clearly so you can influence decisions, reduce misunderstandings, and collaborate with more ease.

Feedback is meant to guide development.
Appraisal conversations can be emotionally challenging
but they also help you understand yourself better, build your resilience, and move forward with greater clarity.

If this season feels heavier than usual, take care of yourself as you navigate it.
Give yourself space to reset, recharge, and welcome the new year afresh, as it brings new chances for growth.

Here’s to rising with care!

With C.A.R.E.®

Founder, Xel Consulting

Contact Xi Ren