A Dream I Carried Quietly For Over 30 Years

I’m releasing my own motivational song《心光》, and I’d love to share the story behind it.

When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a singer. But life took me on a different path, one that fulfilled my parents’ hopes of seeing me take the more stable, typical route of getting a degree and building a corporate career. I honoured that path. I built the life they wished for me. But that dream never went away.

Last year, I decided it was time to honour my own heart, to fulfill my dream too. It’s never too late to pursue your dreams.

The Message Behind《心光》

I didn’t want to release just any song. I wanted something that carried meaning…

So I combined my love for singing with my purpose to inspire others with hope and resilience, a calling shaped through my alopecia journey. And that’s how《心光》(Inner Light) was born, a reminder to let the light within guide us through dark times.

This song speaks to anyone who has ever felt weighed down, hidden behind a smile, or unsure if they could rise again. Its message is heartfelt and reflects what I’ve lived through myself:

• Let your inner light shine bright

• Life’s challenges don’t define you

• It’s how you rise that truly matters

• Every struggle hides a gift, a chance to grow

Even after your deepest fall, you can rise stronger and more whole than before. If this song gives you even a small spark of comfort or courage… then it has already fulfilled its purpose.

Creating with Care and Intention

Being someone who puts my heart into everything I do, I always make sure I give my best. I wanted this song to be created with care, depth, and professionalism to honour the message behind it.

That’s why I chose to work with Lee Wei Song Music Academy, known for nurturing Singapore’s finest artists, including Stefanie Sun.

From start to finish, this has been a deeply personal process. I poured my heart into every step to give listeners an immersive listening experience, with the hope that it would touch and uplift listeners.

I wrote the lyrics myself, wanting them to be heartfelt and reflective of my alopecia journey.

Even designing the song cover had a lot of thought put into it, to reflect the story, emotion, and meaning behind《心光》.

Telling the Story Through Music

Which comes first, lyrics or melody? Usually it’s the melody…

But for《心光》, it was the other way round. I wrote the lyrics first because I wanted the song to reflect the story of my alopecia journey, from downfall, to acceptance, to rising again.

That made creating the melody a challenge, especially since songwriting usually follows a structure, and fitting story-driven lyrics into it isn’t easy. I’m glad it eventually worked out well.

The melody and music arrangement were shaped with intention to bring out the story and emotions behind each phase of my journey: the downfall, the acceptance, and the comeback. Conveying three distinct phases in one song was challenging. It took many rounds of refinement to reach a point where I felt confident to share it.

Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

Even choosing the key was a challenge. People say I can sing well, but this time I wasn’t sure, because my natural range is in the lower register. Yet this song needed a higher, more uplifting chorus because its message is about strength, hope, and rising above challenges.

There were moments I doubted myself. I was afraid of not sounding good enough, afraid I would be judged. But I reminded myself and practiced what I preach:

• Growth happens when we stretch ourselves

• Mindset shapes our behaviours and the results we get

• If we believe we can do it, we can train, practice, and grow

• It’s not about perfection, it’s about choosing not to give up

So I stepped out of my comfort zone, embraced the higher key, practiced harder, and kept going, all for you, the listener.

Building the Music Arrangement

After the melody was finalized, the next step was to work on what I used to call “background music,” which is actually called music arrangement. And this step was just as intricate.

Every instrument was added with purpose, each layer shaping the emotional arc of the song.

The build-up unfolded gradually:

• piano setting the emotional tone at the start

• guitar entering in the uplifting chorus to add warmth

• bass and drums joining from verse 2: bass grounding the acceptance phase, drums bringing strength

• strings soaring in as the song peaks at the outro, creating the final wave of uplift

Every choice was intentional and carefully crafted, right down to the timing of each instrument, so the emotions could be felt, creating an immersive listening experience.

Recording and Refinement

Next came recording. And here’s yet another challenge. It took four hours to record a four-minute song because every breath and every word had to be captured just right, and I had to sing every verse several times to choose the best take.

The “golden window” for singing is the first hour. After two hours, the voice gets tired and the tone changes. Small details mattered… I couldn’t close my mouth fully between lines because the mic picks up every sound. Holding my mouth open for long stretches felt awkward.

Recording in the studio was a long-held dream made real. Because it mattered to me, it wasn’t easy. It was both pressurising and deeply meaningful, because I wanted to give my best. There were many small adjustments, a reminder that meaningful creation takes focus, patience, and care.

Then came mixing, which is an intricate art on its own. The vocals, instruments, sound, dynamics, and feeling all have to come together and find the right balance. Not just technically, but emotionally, and easy on the ears.

It took seven rounds of refinements to come to this final version, with patience and deep listening. Receiving it brought a deep sense of joy. Every effort and dedication over these months has finally come to fruition.

What This Journey Taught Me

Having experienced the entire creation process, I appreciate songs differently now, and much more deeply. There’s truly so much happening behind the scenes.

Creating my first song has taught me far more than I expected. It reminded me that creativity takes patience. Creation can’t be rushed. It needs space to breathe, to evolve, and to allow inspiration to find its way in.

I was also conscious that creativity is subjective. What I like, or what feels nice to me, may not resonate with others. That’s why I chose to stay open, to listen, and to take feedback with listeners in mind, because this song is ultimately for the listeners.

It also taught me about vulnerability. Putting my first original song into the world meant not knowing how it would be received. When comments that were difficult to hear came, I chose to see feedback as part of growth, and to keep going without letting discouragement take over.

Through the creation process, I came to understand myself more deeply, what matters to me, and my values. This journey reinforced what I often share: we can’t control what happens, but we can control how we respond, and it begins with our mindset.

When things didn’t go as planned, instead of stressing over what I couldn’t control, I chose to stay positive and focus on my intention and effort. That choice helped me remain calm and steady throughout the process.

Most of all, this journey reminded me that it’s never too late to pursue a dream. Honouring a dream, even later in life, is an act of courage. It often means meeting moments of self-doubt and self-judgement, and not letting them hold me back.

I just turned 46, and being a singer is a dream that has lived in me for over 30 years. Releasing my song now, I had questions. Am I too old for this? Is it too late? But choosing not to let those doubts lead, and listening to my heart instead, has been deeply empowering.

Bringing《心光》to You

Working with TuneCore,《心光》 is now scheduled for release, so it can reach you across music platforms.

Counting down to its release.

PS: Sharing behind-the-scenes studio moments and a snippet of《心光》here

With C.A.R.E.®

Founder, Xel Consulting

Contact Xi Ren